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Is couples therapy good for a relationship?




YES, it's always a good idea. If you are asking, then a good couples therapist can be helpful to get you to your goals.


Everyone in their lives has their history, and their own experiences. These shape what we feel we need to be happy and feel loved. This goes back as early as our first caretakers as a newborn baby. We know and adapt if our caregivers are available and attuned. We learn what gets our caregivers attention to ensure we are taken care of. We continue building this sense of what makes us fee safe and loved as we enter into the world.


We also have experiences and emotions that we have had to remember to keep us safe. They may seem illogical at times, but we feel deeply about them nonetheless. When we are in a relationship all partners have these same dynamics to understand and to work with. Our emotions tell us what makes us happy, what makes us feel safe and what doesn't. If we ignore these feelings to make someone else happy or content in the moment, our bodies keep the score and remember it. If we have many experiences where our needs are not validated or honored we begin to become hyper or under aroused, emotionally reactive, depressed, resentful or many other unpleasant experiences. The trust and bond begins to create distance.


When we love someone and ourselves, needs are important to acknowledge. We often believe that in order to compromise one person has to win, and the other loose. This is often not the case. It feels this way when needs and boundaries are communicated when someone is already passed their normal comfort. Therefore giving even more feels like a loss. When we honor what we need, what we feel, and what is important to us, then we compromise from a safe place, giving room and not a full loss. By just being aware of your own needs helps the body release it and let it naturally go. Compromise can be more important in some cases, than in others, our intuition will know the difference and tell us.


When each person in the relationship feels safe in their own sense of themselves, they can honestly communicate their needs with out fear of abandonment or rejection. Anxiety and resentment lessens as we trust ourselves to honor our needs.


In the therapy room, these aspects can be understood, validated and coping and problem solving strategies can be put into place so you can have the relationship you want. When a therapist is in the room to help the communication, it can change perspectives and understanding between the partners that our own anxiety or fears will not allow us to do in a conflict moment.


So whether your relationship issues require some tuning up for maintenance, or a real breach of trust occurred, therapy can be helpful to bring the communication, trust and bond back together. Whether the relationship has been through decades or is new, a better relationship is never too early or late.


If only one party wants to work in the therapy process, individual therapy can be done to begin some healing, however the process works best when both parties are actively working toward the process. However, strategies and understanding can be worked on individually with in the individual session if needed.


Not all relationships survive past the therapy process. There are times that individuals decide their partner is not what they want to be happy in the future. This is a real possibility in some cases. In other cases, when both partners are working with love and compassion and doing the work that is needed, the relationship can be stronger and more full of love than ever.


Immediate openings in our Gaithersburg and Frederick location are available, in addition or virtual sessions. Contact us today for your FREE initial consultation to see how we can help you feel better, happier and safer.

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